Leaving On A Jet Plane Part 3

WOW - My head is spinning - I am leaving tomorrow...I don't even have time to write about it - so I'm posting the email my sister sent out to all of my praying friends and family. I promise to post more soon! One step closer - this will be my last trip by myself - woo hoo! And I will be 75% done with the travel. E. Should be home by the end of March. Woot! Woot!
Hello all. Kimberly found out this morning that she will be traveling to Russia TOMORROW for her third trip. While this is super exciting, it is also incredibly nerve wracking. Please be in prayer today and throughout the week for Kimberly. Here are a few things to be praying for:
• Peace. Please pray for peace of mind for Kimberly as she prepares for this very short notice travel.
• Health. She is not feeling great today (dang nerves), so please be praying for health and an abundance of strength for her on this journey.
• Safe travels. Kimberly will be traveling from Denver to Chicago, from Chicago to Munich (I think that's right) then from Munich to Russia. Please pray for no delays and safe and timely connections in all connecting airports
• Weather. Since you see how many connections she is going to have to make, please be praying for good weather in all cities so that her flight is not delayed at all
• Visits in Russia. This trip is for Kimberly to be able to get a passport for Emma. There is a good chance that Kimberly will be able to have some visiting time with E. on Thursday. Pray for some sweet bonding time for the two of them and that the orphanage staff allow her an extended visit. Please also pray that the influenza ban (no visiting last time due to influenza outbreak) has been lifted and all is well at the orphanage.

Kimberly covets your prayers. She will be leaving Denver tomorrow afternoon around 2:00 and will return to Denver on Saturday. Thank you so much for your willingness to pray.

Kristi

Still Waiting...

Still waiting for travel dates. It looks like I will return next week to apply for E's passport in her new name and then two weeks after that, to spring her from the baby house for good :)
Hopefully the orphanage will not be closed again next week (due to flu in Central Russia) and I will be able to visit for more than an hour! It was really painful last time - I didn't even get to see her after court!
I promise to send pictures soon to those who have asked - I have been having laptop drama - oh my!
WOW - the waiting doesn't get any easier - in fact, I think it's getting harder.

Leaving on a Jet Plane - Part 2

I am still trying to process all that happened last week. When my agency called on Monday to say I had a court date this week, I have to admit I never believed I would be able to keep that date - it seemed impossible with all the documents required by Wednesday, the need to get a Visa more quickly than the Russian embassy says is possible. It was a God sized job and I watched it unfold! God took care of everything and I am so blessed and humbled.
This weekend I did a ton of shopping - buying gifts for my driver and coordinator and social worker the caregivers in the orphanage - and of all things the judge (what does one buy as a thank you gift for a Russian judge?) It was a bit overwhelming, but also exciting.
I leave tomorrow am and arrive in Russia on Wednesday am. My driver will pick me up at the airport and we will make the three hour drive to region, where my little darling is. On Thursday I will get to spend time with E. - yippeee! On Friday I head to court and then back to Moscow. I fly home on Saturday - I think my head will be spinning by then.
More than anything, I am writing to ask you all to keep praying. God has really put it on my heart that there is a spiritual battle for the lives of orphans - think about it - something dear to God's heart - He makes it so clear that He loves orphans (including us) the enemy would just love to tear that apart - satan is all about attacking what God loves. In addition to that, I tend to struggle with being anxious - especially when I have no control over anything (which, I know, is ALWAYS, but sometimes it's more obvious than others :) So would you please be praying...
• For travel mercies - on time flights, connections made :)
• Safety in the Moscow airport - I am flying in and out of the one that had the bombing a couple of weeks ago - pray that I will be able to find my driver and get out of there quickly
• My health - that He would keep me from getting sick and for strength and energy - I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed - the 3 1/2 years of pursuing adoption are catching up to me! I have to admit there's part of me in quiet moments that thinks - how in the world will I make it through these next three trips? I'm clinging to Isaiah 40:28-31, Gal. 6:9 and Phil. 4:13
• For a sweet time of bonding with E. on Thursday :)
• That God would continue to prepare E.'s heart to leave the orphanage - that He would prepare both of our hearts to bond.
• For court on Friday. That the judge would find favor with me and be more than willing to approve the adoption. That God would give me the right words in answering the questions from the judge and even more importantly that my translator would translate the words the judge wants to hear :) My friend Ann told me it doesn't really matter what you say the translator will translate what the judge wants to hear - that takes the pressure of :)
• Ok this is a long shot and would have to be an act of God - but my request is that the judge would allow just one final trip and not require the usual two additional trips this region requires after court - God may have other plans or reasons He needs me to make a total of 4 trips - but wow would I be thrilled to only make one more trip after this one.

Thank you all so much - not sure what I would do without your love, support and friendship!

Jedi Mind Tricks

OK - I know that is a crazy title for a post, but it's what has come to mind as I've been praying for my sweet girl.
When I was waiting to go through customs in Russia I was praying that God would pave the way for me - I was nervous and let's face it, as I've said before, I've seen far too many Bond films for my own good! As I was praying, a scene from Star Wars came to mind - you know the scene where Obi Wan and Luke encounter the Storm Troopers who are looking for C3PO and R2 - Obi Wan says "you don't need to see his ID...these aren't the droids you're looking for" and through the use of the "force" the Storm Troopers repeat what he says and send them on their way. Now, I'm in no way comparing Obi Wan to God - I'm just saying that this scene came to mind as I was waiting - it made me smile and I have to admit, I prayed that God would smooth way for me - that I would be waved on through....and I was.
Anyhow, this memory made me smile tonight as I was praying for my little one and the current requests for paperwork. The region has now decided they need copies of my sister's passport and Syd's birth certificate - UGH! Like me, both were born in CA so getting them is not quick and easy. All this to "verify their names"? What?
So, now I'm praying that God would wave my paperwork on through and a court date would be assigned - "of course, she should be your daughter" :)

Translation....

A few more tidbits of information trickled in this week. The second half of my dossier made it to my region on Thursday. I am told it will take one week to translate and then they will pursue a court date. Woo hoo! So exciting.
I received my new FBI clearance yesterday - hurrah! I sent that along with several other documents that they requested.
Will probably be a quiet week - I don't expect to hear much before the week of January 24th.
I continue to pray for E's emotional, spiritual and physical health and safety while she waits....I know that her world continues as it always has and she likely isn't very aware that she is waiting...but my heart is dreaming of all the ways I will get to lavish love on her. Almost daily Sydney is asking me, "do you think E. will like this....."(insert whatever has caught her attention at the moment...playing a card game, a certain song, going for a walk with the dogs etc) I don't want her to wait even more day to be with her forever familiy.
Hold on Little E....mama's coming!

An Update

God is so good. A huge answer to prayer - I was contacted by a woman at the FBI - she had processed my request last year and sent me the letters last November - she wanted to make sure I had received that response. Yes, I definitely did receive that one, but it expires February 1st. I explained the situation and she asked if I would like her to expedite this new request? Ummmmm.....YES, Please! She told me she will make sure I receive the new request by February 1 - hopefully sooner. Thank You, Lord! That is a huge relief.
All other dossier paperwork should be in region this week. Praying for a court date!

Prayer Requests...

I know there are so many things to be praying for in each of our lives.….the needs are huge! But God is BIGGER!
I wanted to share with you all the ways I am specifically praying and ask that if God puts me or sweet E. on your heart that you would consider praying specifically with me!
Please be praying for E.
• That God would be preparing her heart to leave the only home she has known.
• That God would be preparing both of our hearts to bond and attach as mother and daughter
• That God would surround her with His angels – protecting her, ministering to her, filling her heart with His love as she waits….
• That she would remain healthy and safe! That He would protect her emotionally, physically and spiritually!
Please be praying for the paperwork…I am really feeling that there is a spiritual battle underway to delay the process – the enemy does not want this little girl to have a family and a community that loves Jesus – so prayer is the ANSWER!
• That I would be able to pick up my child abuse clearance tomorrow – those are taking weeks to process, but I’m praying that God intervenes – the child abuse clearance is only good for 90 days – mine expired this month – I applied for a new one two weeks ago.
• That all of my paperwork would get to Russia by 1/10/11 – this is when everyone returns to work there – they celebrate from now until then – New Years and then Christmas is observed on 1/7- Russian Orthodox Christmas.
• That A. would be able to obtain a court date by 1/31/11 – my FBI clearance expires 2/1/11 – I have applied for new clearance, but it is taking about 12 weeks to receive new ones back and this could cause a big problem – DELAY!
• This is a ways out –but it’s on my mind because of my history with international adoption…..my US immigration paperwork expires 5/2/11 – if I am unable to get her home by then I would have to start ALL OVER – I have already filed for my one free extension – when this expires it expires and you have to start from scratch – which means new homestudy, new application – not only does that translate into thousands of dollars, but the process is taking months…I know the Lord knows all of this…please be praying with me that E. will be home LONG before May 2nd.
Thank you all for standing with me over these past three and a half years….your prayers and love mean the world to me!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! I can't believe another one has come and gone. Where does the time go? We had a very nice day. My niece, Syd, opened a truckload of gifts this am. Of course, she enjoyed herself. One of the things she had asked for was a Rapunzel doll from the new Disney flick Tangled - she received one, but it wasn't quite what she had in mind. I think she was hoping for a "Barbie" version - the one she got was almost three feet tall and I think it seemed a little "babyish" to her. Her mom told her that my aunt had sent the gift receipt and she could return it. Right away she said "no, I think I'd like to give it to E. Don't you think she'd like to play with it when she gets home, Auntie?" Awwww - that is just about the sweetest thing - and yes, I think she'd love it. Christmas spirit - thinking of others rather than yourself - from the heart of an eleven year old. Just what I needed.
Hang on E. - your family loves you and can't wait to play with you.

The Paper Chase!

Where to begin? I was so hoping to have "Part 2" of my dossier winging its way to Moscow by now. HA! Wishful thinking! I feel like I'm running in a hamster wheel - spinning like crazy - going nowhere! ARGH! Just about the time I think I have all the paperwork together I realize something is going to expire.
State police clearance expires this month so I sent that off the beginning of last week - it came back today - wonderful, right? NOT! They spelled my last name wrong. So frustrating - they spelled it correctly at the top of the letter and then wrong when they referenced me in the body of the letter. I called them to explain the problem and they said please fax us a copy of what you received and a letter explaining what the issue is. Not difficult - but it ate up another 45 minutes of my time. And tomorrow is Christmas Eve - so I wonder when I will get the corrected copies back?
My sister's medical clearance was finally signed by her doctor today, but the notary that works in the medical office is out until 12/29 so it won't be ready to take downtown for the Apostille until then.
I realized that my FBI clearance (which can take up to 12 weeks to receive back) will expire February 1st - meaning I better start now since it could take a long time to get back and there is no guarantee I will get a court date in January - especially if I can't get the rest of my paperwork over there quickly. So today my sister (what a gem she is) and I went for the millionth time (OK I may be exaggerating a bit, but not much) to be fingerprinted for the FBI clearance.
And of course, every little bit of this costs time and money!
I'm feeling so sick of the whole thing! And frustrated to be constantly chasing down paperwork, updating things that expire, asking my sister to get something notarized, or go get fingerprinted. When will this ever end? I just want to get my girl home. I'm in the midst of one big pity party today....I promise I'll get over it by tomorrow....but today....I'm just plain MAD and SAD!

Meeting You - December 7

It was lightly snowing as I arrived in your city. What a beautiful city. I hope that you and I will be able to visit together someday - in the spring, preferably :)
We went to the adoption center first to sign some paperwork and receive my invitation to visit you. I was full of anticipation.
It was a short drive from the adoption center to the Infant Home. My coordinator tells me this is the best one in the region...that is encouraging to hear. They usher me into the music room and tell me I would be meeting first with the director and doctors who know all about you. After a few minutes of waiting, a wonderful surprise - in you walk, wearing the prettiest bow in your hair, holding tightly to the hand of a caregiver. It's clear she is one of your favorites - you cling to her and she is such a warm woman - all smiles. She'd be one of my favorites too. I can tell you are very anxious. I wish I knew what she was saying to you - from the tone of her voices I can tell she is reassuring you, telling you it is OK, this is your mama. She wants you to feel comfortable around me.
One of my favorites at the infant home is the music teacher - she is a delight. Warm, and friendly, lots of smiles - she seems to genuinely care about you. She sings to you and encourages you to sing and dance with her. She gathers some of your favorite toys for us to play with together. Later in the day, when I asked about earlier pictures of you she searches her computer to find some :) I must learn her name and take a picture of the two of you when I return.
I know this was such a stressful day for you - so many eyes watching us, so many voices pressuring you to warm up to me - quickly. I wish they would all just leave us alone and let us get to know each other. They pressure me too, to try and hold you, to sit right next to you, to take you from their arms. I am certain you do not trust me - why should you? We've just met and you can't understand a word I try to say to you. Your caregiver tries to get you to dance and sing with her - it's very sweet really. You just stare at her - I'm guessing you must be thinking "are you crazy lady?" :)
I love your sweet pouty face. You pout often during our visits today - when they tell you to smile for the camera, when they encourage you to play with me, to sit with me, to let me hold you. You break into tears each time your caregivers try to sneak out of the room. I wish I could scoop you up and comfort you, but today you are just too frightened of me. I am actually encouraged by this - it's normal to be shy around strangers and today that is what we are. I am hopeful as I watch you interact lovingly with your caregivers. It is a good sign that you are able to attach and I am excited to think of beginning our life together. A life as mother and daughter. I will be back. I'm praying for you everyday. I'm asking the Lord to surround you with His love, to prepare your sweet little heart to leave the only home you've known. I am asking Him to prepare both of our hearts to bond with each other. I'm asking Him to send His angels to minister to you while you wait. To pour His love into your heart while you wait. To protect you from any harm.
You smiled at me a few times today - it is a beautiful smile - full of life and spunk! I cannot wait to get to know you more. To watch you giggle and laugh and run and play.

More from Moscow

WOW – I just can’t even begin to describe how the Lord has been moving on this trip. A life changing experience…and not all from meeting my little angel, although that was definitely precious, but more from experiencing the presence of the Lord. His promise to me before I left was from Psalm 139:5 – that He would hem me in – going before and after me and that has been my experience this week. Feeling a sense that I am right in the palm of His hand - in the center of His will. Thank you all so very much for praying – I am 200% aware of those prayers. In each situation I’ve encountered – and there have been some stressful ones – I’ve known His peace (Phil. 4:6).
Today was an emotional day – after much prayer and another consult with the international adoption physician via email I called my coordinator to say yes! I intend to adopt this sweet little girl. She was very happy and excited for me. At 9:30am we headed to orphanage for another visit, then to the notary to sign the intent to adopt paperwork. You really build your patience muscles here – between the traffic and the waiting – nothing happens in a hurry here. It’s been really amazing to just let it unfold – move from one task to the next without having any idea what might be next. I pretty much just go where they tell me and enjoying the view while I’m going.
I am in Moscow proper now– staying right near downtown at a Marriott – feels very much like one at home – such a small world. The drive from my little girl’s region took four hours due to traffic once we were within Moscow city limits. I am here for one night. Tomorrow I have the medical exam and then my translator will take me back to the airport hotel to be ready for my flight home on Friday.
I wanted to share one sweet story with you. As I was leaving the orphanage today, the caregivers told my sweetie to give me a hug (they did this at the end of each of our 3 visits and mostly she complied – although not really willingly) today she came over and hugged me and as she stepped back she stopped and looked at my face and my eyes – then she put her hand in my hair ever so gently – it was a moment of confirmation for me. Just one of those moments of knowing – she is my girl and I sensed she knows I’m her mama. In each visit I touched her hair this same way and it was as if she was touching me in the same way I had touched her.
Peace dear friends!

Don't Shrink Back

These last few weeks have been full of drama - the drama of international adoption! And I have to admit as I've talked to God about it, I've spoken the words "just forget it! it's too hard!".

As I was swimming laps earlier this week, and complaining to the Lord in prayer about a new set of paperwork needed before trip one, I very clearly heard (now don't freak out, I don't mean audibly - I heard in my spirit) the Lord say to me "don't shrink back". These words hit me between the eyes and instantly brought both relief and a bit of confession - sorry, I'm such a whiner Lord!

The women's Bible study that I co-lead with a dear friend has been focused on the New Testament book of Hebrews. In chapter 10 the author reminds the readers of the ways they have faced very difficult times and remained joyful and confident in their trust of the Lord, with that in mind, he challenges them not to shrink back now with a new set of difficult circumstances - in fact, he tells them the Lord will "take no pleasure in the ones who shrink back!"

I think that is what I have been tempted to do - shrink back - give up the fight. It has been such a long and painful journey to this point and yet I see God's fingerprints all over it - I know He has been guiding me, He has never left me and has not forgotten me. And hearing this reminder not to shrink back strengthens my resolve to go the distance in this.

My dear friend Delene, from Zimbabwe, who has lived through her share of very difficult and painful circumstances, told me this summer that she is resolved to "let each moment unfold". It's her way of saying she is living in the present. Those sweet words came back to me as I went to my Bible study to see what else the Lord might be saying to me about not shrinking back. I think I am to let each moment unfold - trusting that the Lord is working out His plan for my life and my new little angel's life

Even though I have no idea when or if I will be invited to travel, and it seems clear that she won't be home before next year - I am committed to letting life unfold - to drink in all the sweetness and heartache each moment may have to offer - trusting that no matter my circumstances - no matter what unfolds - God is good.

Fingerprints and Home Deeds and Psych Evals, Oh My!

The amount of paperwork required to adopt a child internationally never ceases to amaze me! And might I just say how sick I am of having my fingerprints taken! Today made just about the millionth time! Ok, maybe a slight exaggeration, but do fingerprints change? I think not! So taking them twice seems to be over the top - and I have easily been fingerprinted twenty times during this journey!
The day started with the coveted appointment with USCIS to have my fingerprints updated - because, again you know these things change...NOT! I waited two months for this appointment - good grief! For some reason they had no record of needing to update my sister's fingerprints and, of course, at the field office where they scan your fingerprints they cannot take just anyone's fingerprints and they cannot look up adoption applications - must have a letter requesting them! UGH! So, my sister, rockstar that she is, drove across town to the office that specifically handles adoption immigration to request this letter and later drove all the way back to be fingerprinted. I truly appreciate her willingness to do this today - since they say that once they have our "updated" fingerprints my new I600A will take 30 more days to receive.
Next, a phone call from my adoption agency telling me that the certified copies of my home deed already provided are too many pages. They only want page one. So will I please provide two new originals of only page one, notarized and apostilled. ARGHHHH! Frustrating, but doable.
Lastly, this evening a phone interview with a psychologist who will, hopefully, :) write a letter, deeming me to be fit to be a parent.
I know it will all be worth it! And I would do it a hundred times over for my sweet girl! But I must say it is exhausting!

Dossier Prep Classes, Anyone?

I'm so happy to report that my "mini-dossier" was given an A+ rating. :) In fact, the director told me I could give dossier prep classes. Wow! I'm shocked - if you read my last post you know that I was a little more than nervous about how it would turn out since I am so not a details person - apparently my determination to have a successful adoption overrode my lack of attention to detail.
OK - it probably helps that of the 3 dossiers my agency received last week mine was the only one that actually followed the directions they sent.
Now, let the waiting begin - some more!
I am still hopeful that things will move quickly. But trying to manage my expectations.
My agency sent me a picture of the sweetest little girl - they are waiting for the medical. So we shall see.

Mini Dossier......check!

Today I shipped my mini dossier off to my adoption agency! Very exciting to have this requirement complete! I'm praying that there are not many errors, OK no errors would be ideal! I am just not a details person and dossier prep is all about the details! The millions of details! Hopefully, I will get an email from my agency letting me know it's on it's way to translation! That would be amazing. A few little bumps today, but nothing like last week.
I'm dreaming of my little darling! I can't see your face yet, but you are already in my heart!

Better than Expected

The end of last week turned out on a much higher note! On Thursday I hurried around re-doing the failed notary's paperwork. I also spoke with my homestudy agency and they will have all of my documents and homestudy ready for me to pick up on Monday rather than their first guess of next Friday! Woo hoo! I am so grateful! On Friday I made the trek downtown to the SOS office to turn on all 14 of those re-notarized documents and this time, success! They were all accepted and I will be able to pick them up on Monday, Apostilled and ready to be sent on to my adoption agency. In fact, I believe I will be ready to send my entire "mini-dossier" (ha! I really think that is an oxymoron!) plus a few other documents I have been able to collect for my full dossier on to my agency on Wednesday! WOW! That is exciting.
Once they have reviewed the documents they will be scanned and sent to Russia via email and hand carried by another gracious adopting family to Russia and into the coordinator's hands. Let the waiting begin (again!). I will await an official referral and an invitation to travel for a visit trip.

Happy Birthday, Lucy

When you've been waiting to adopt a child of your own for over three years, you develop a certain longing for things to celebrate!

So, I am celebrating my furry child, Lucy's eleventh birthday!

Happy Birthday sweet Lucy Dog!

Officially....

pursuing an adoption from Russia. I am knee deep in dossier paperwork! UGH!!! I am praying that the third time is the charm.

Starting Over

Well, it's official, my journey to adopt Hannah has come to an end. I am filled with tremendous relief for my sweet girl that she is no longer waiting, and tremendous sadness that I won't get to be her mama.

This adoption journey is quite the roller coaster - and the sad part is that my story really isn't all that unique! Many families have a failed adoption(s), many wait three years or more to adopt, many try multiple countries or avenues to grow their family through adoption. This realization leaves me feeling both melancholy and hope! There is some relief in knowing I am not alone, I am not unique - maybe that way I don't have to see this as a door slammed in my face!

And so, a bit weary, a bit devastated, and yes, a bit hopeful too....I start over. Praying for guidance, discernment about where the path leads next.

I am not giving up....my dream to be a mom lives on!

On Hold

I wish I had some fabulous news to share, but at this time I am pretty much on hold with the domestic adoption. I have prayerfully come to the conclusion that I need to wait and see what happens with Hannah before I move forward on this second front. It's a tough choice because we could easily be another year away from bringing her home, but it's the right one.