Monday, December 28, 2009

Why does everything have to take so darn long?

No new news to report - the case worker for the girls has not been "able" to reach the grandmother or to get more info / answers to my questions. Clearly this is not an emergency placement. It is not clear if grandma has changed her mind and wants to parent or what is going on? The case worker has told my agency that we will not be able to meet this week about the girls. I pray they are safe and being loved on during this time of celebration.
I have to admit I am having a bit of a pity party! I just want something to work out and to have something to celebrate myself! I am so sick of waiting! I'm struggling...too many really shouldn't be this hard to become a mom....should it? UGH!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Next Week

The meeting today went very well. They are planning to speak with the girls' grandmother and let her know they have a family in mind. They are hoping if she knows they are actively looking for a family that she will be willing to keep the girls for now. Unfortunately, the social worker did not have the answers to many of the questions we asked. She said she will spend some time this week trying to get the answers and we will meet again next week to cover this situation in more detail. They would like me to consider moving the girls at the end of next week!
No big red flags! I am cautiously excited!
More to come.....
Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

An Unexpected Turn of Events

It's the season of Advent - waiting for the Messiah - who shows up as a baby, born to a virgin in one of the most unexpected places a stable. So why shouldn't I expect the unexpected?

My social worker called me Friday afternoon to ask if I would consider an emergency placement of sisters aged three and five years old, they need a foster-to-adopt placement before Christmas? Oh my goodness? I had just wrapped my brain around not hearing anything until at least January.

In an effort not to miss out on God's unexpected plans for my life, I said....ummmm....OK. So tomorrow I will be meeting with my social worker, the girls' social worker and guardian ad litem to discuss this opportunity and whether or not it is a good fit for all of us?

My sister told Syd on Friday night. On Saturday am when I came downstairs she wanted to talk to me. "Auntie, you won't have time for me anymore if you adopt these girls. And I don't know anything about being a big sister." As she told me these things she burst into tears. Heartbreaking. We talked about this for awhile and I reassured her that I will always make time for her.

I have spent the weekend flipping back and forth between sheer excitement to have two little girls to celebrate Christmas with and sheer terror at the same prospect - not at the being a mom part, but being ready in just a few short days! Ack!

I am a mess of conflicting emotions and thoughts. Praying continually, and trying to remain open to whatever God might have in mind.

When I got home this afternoon from lunch with a friend, hanging on my door were two of Syd's favorite dresses that don't fit her anymore, with a note pinned to them...."Auntie, do you think the five year old might like this dress?" signed Sydney. What a sweetie!

Just a few minutes ago Syd came into my room...."Auntie, I got over it." After she noticed my puzzled look she said, "I got over being scared that I don't know how to be a big sister."

Sigh.....God is at work. If you happen to think of me tomorrow at 11am please pray for wisdom, discernment and most importantly that God would make it clear!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Latest....

Sadly, I have no new news to share on the domestic adoption front. I received this update from my adoption agency.

She writes, "I'm just touching base to let you know that in recent weeks we haven't found any little girls who meet your requirements regarding age, ethnicity, and needs. This time of year is typically slow in terms of adoptive placements, because of the emotions surrounding the holidays and the additional stress for children if they have to move during this time. So I don't expect anything much to happen until after the first of the year.

We know the wait is hard. Please know that we're always looking, telling caseworkers about you, and following every lead."

Certainly not the news I would like to hear, but I appreciate the update nonetheless.