the most ridiculous things! I really can't believe some of the things people feel the need to share with me! I mean, really?
I was at a party for a friend (where I knew only the friend and not the others) and she shared with the group about my upcoming homecoming with E. - she is excited for me and would be horrified to know of some of the things others felt the need to say.
I would liken my experience to a mom who is very close to giving birth, whom many feel the need to share horrifying birth experiences with. Again, really? Does a pregnant woman really want to hear about 30 hour labor experiences? Not!
Several women shared adoption horror stories with me....."I knew a woman who described her first year home with her adopted child as the year from hell" Really? You think it's a good idea to share that story with me?
"How much do you know about her family? You know there is a lot of alcoholism in Russia?" Really? Somehow, you think that's something I would want to discuss now?
Here were some of the thoughtless comments to me...
"So, do you know much about her "real mom"? I actually consider myself as her "real Mom"
"What is her name?" When I would answer - "No, I mean what was her real name?"
"Why didn't you adopt domestically" Kind of like asking - why didn't you buy American? There is such a tone of judgment that goes along with a questions like this. Or maybe, I just assume there is criticism behind a questions like this. You know, adoption is NOT an act of patriotism and adopting internationally doesn't mean I have a lack of patriotism, people!
ARGH! People say the most thoughtless things....I tried to be patient and kind in my responses, but I had to vent - hope you all don't mind! I need to work on my response to all of the questions about E's birth mom - I really feel like that is her story to tell - or not tell. Maybe that's my response...