Sunday, April 3, 2011

Learning to Stay Present

Staying present seems to be an ongoing lesson of mine to learn. Professionally, I am a trained counselor and have worked with many families who struggle with attachment challenges. Perhaps similar to a doctor or nurse who brings a child into their home, I find myself "knowing" too much about attachment issues and as a result, I'm constantly looking for signs that issues are there. UGH! This is not helpful.

This week I was reading in Matthew chapter 6 in The Message version and these verses hit me square between the eyes!

Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

I realize the context of this passage is about money, but I so clearly felt the Lord saying to me "watch E. unfold with wide eyed wonder and belief in what I am doing in both of you! Don't live squinty eyed looking for problems! Allow me to fill you up with my light." And also, asking me to "give my full attention to what He is doing right here, right now in our lives and not worry about the next ten steps on our journey - focus right here, right now!"

So this has been my prayer this week - to live in wide eyed wonder, staying present to each moment as it unfolds.


  1. I had my son J when i was 17 (read young an STUPID) and I realize now that ignorance is bliss. I worry about V's small head circ, she's gained on her growth curve, and her pedi isn't worried and has tried to reassure me, but still. . . I have a thousand examples like that where the education and training I've gained since my oldest was a baby has really warped my perception of how my two little ones are doing. You do have to consciously step back and remind yourself to not anticipate problems and remember that normal is a range and not an absolute.

  2. Thanks for sharing that Teresa - helps to know that I'm not the only one looking for trouble:)
    I like your reminder that normal is a range!

  3. Hi Kimberly,
    You are not the only one. I think maybe most parents do it but especially adoptive ones of older children because we learn of so many things that could create issues in our kids so we are always watching for them so that we can "fix" them right away.
    I have caught myself wondering what is causing Hannah's behaviour and should I do something about it and then I have to remind myself to just enjoy her, learn about her, and let her be a normal kid.
    One example--when she started preschool I struggled with her attachment to her teachers and the fact that she liked to hug them to say Hello and good-bye. Did this mean she wasn't attached to me? Was she looking for another mom? Did she just superficially attach to everyone? When I was confident with her attachment to me, I was able to realize that her teachers were important in her life and it was good she liked them--just like all the other kids in her class. Now, we both have a great relationship with her teachers and that is a good thing.
    It sounds to me like everything is going very well with you and Emma.
    Those little reminders God gives us are always a good thing.

  4. Ach, I could give you 100 examples of times I have thought Malika was doing this or that because she is adopted - starting with the week brought her home when I created a very elaborate theory about the connection between being adopted and her dislike of the car seat.