A Visit

The girls' transition to their new family went very well. I think it was easier for the girls than it was for me. They were mostly just excited and happy about going to their new family. We said goodbye and I let them know that I would see them on Sunday. I left tearfully - they were engrossed in play with their new siblings. I will get to visit tomorrow.
I have to say that I have continued peace about my decision, but a sense of uncertainty about what's next? Sigh.....waiting again.

One More Sleep

When we were leaving F. and H.'s new family yesterday, their new daddy told them they would have 2 more sleeps before they would come back to stay with them. Tonight as she is falling asleep F. told me "only one more sleep!" It warms my heart to know that she is feeling so positive about going to live with her new family.

I cannot believe they will be leaving tomorrow. I have such a peace about it, but I am aslo so sad to say goodbye. I will miss them both. I am so grateful I will get to see them again soon.

This has been such a powerful experience for me - I don't even know how to put it in words.

Vocabulary Lesson

It has been so much fun trying to figure out some of F. and H.'s vocabulary...I thought I'd share a lesson....

yayas = boo boos
boo boo = poop
koko(s) = monster(s)
moco = snot / boogers (sorry!)
mote = remote as in remote control
baloo = blue = the color you guess if you have no idea what color something actually is
cared = scared
pilled = spilled

Answered Prayer

God is so good! The couple I asked for prayer about in the last post would like F. and H. to come live with them and be a part of their family! I am so grateful and excited. We met just mom and dad at McDonalds today and then this evening, Mom and Dad and their four kiddos came over for dinner with us! Tomorrow F., H. and I are off for a visit at their house in the afternoon.

Why in the world do I doubt You, Lord? You always provide! I get all worked up about the short amount of time and the "insurmountable" task of finding the girls the perfect home! But You had this in mind from the beginning! My part in their journey was to keep them from being split into two homes and to give them lots of love in their first weeks away from their grandma, until the W. family could be prepared to welcome the girls into their home and family.

Please be praying for the girls hearts (and Kristi's, Syd's and mine too) as they make this move - it's not going to be easy to say goodbye!

Prayer Please!

There is a Christian couple that is very interested in doing foster to adopt for F. and H. - I am praying that God would move mountains for the girls and this will work out quickly so that they only have to move once, from my house to their new family's house. That would be so perfect and just like God to work in that way!

Also - got an update on P. who you may remember from earlier posts was considering me to parent her baby girl - or so she thought. She ended up selecting her aunt and uncle to parent. Anyhow, I just heard she had a baby boy. Sadly, her aunt and uncle declined to parent due to the sex of the baby. And it also turns out the baby has heart defects that will require surgery. P. has decided to parent. Please be praying for healing for her baby and for P. as she parents four kiddos.

Heard Around Our House...

F. is five and H. is 3 1/2 - here are just a few of the things I am hearing around our house...

H. (while playing hide and seek with F. and Syd - it was her turn to count) "1, 2, 3, 8, 18, 8, 9...ready or not here me come!"

F. "Auntie, I go pee"

H. "Auntie, me go pee"

It's quite the announcement around here!

F. or H. while I'm in the bathroom...."Auntie, what are you doing in there?"

H. is still having trouble with calling me Auntie - she really wants to call me mommy, but I keep talking with her about how special her mommy is and it's important to keep that a special name - so she typically says "MamaAuntie" all as one word - it's really very sweet.

We are working on learning colors, animals, numbers, letters all kinds of fun things! At first no matter what color something was I'd here this from H.

Me: "What color is a frog?" pointing to a frog on a page...

H.: "Baloo" (translation: blue)

A Decision

I have prayerfully made a decision - it isn't an easy one and probably not a popular one, but I have decided that I cannot parent these two little girls on my own. If I could just care for one of the girls it would be a whole different story, but the two of them together is just way more than I can do alone. Their trauma history is significant, their need is so great and I am just one mom. I am sure there are other moms out there that could easily handle this - but I am not the one.
I realize I'm not doing any of this alone - the Lord is my strength! But I also have felt such peace since I made the decision that I know it is the right one.
I've been praying that the Lord would not let me have peace if I made the wrong choice....that if I was just making a decision out of overwhelm or fear the He would make that clear to me through discomfort with my decision (you know, like the kind you have when you know you are supposed to speak to someone you don't want to speak with or you are supposed to say something to someone that you are afraid to say). Well, once I really let myself say out loud that two is just too much for me, the only thing I felt was relief and peace. And it lasted all day long as I continued to pray about it. Even when I told my social worker tonight about my decision I continued to feel peace. She wasn't too thrilled at first and clearly tried to talk me out of deciding after only week, but as she asked me some more questions she seemed to realize that I wasn't just making a snap decision and she became supportive. This was really helpful as well.
They will be staying a few weeks and I am loving being with them and consider it a privilege to minister to them while they are with me.
I am trusting and praying that the Lord has just the perfect home for the girls and just the perfect little girl for my home.