Friday, January 8, 2010

Life is Messy

The girls are in bed - although not asleep. Bedtime is a struggle for them. Which is to be expected - only their third night in a new house.
I need to be brutally honest - I must say I am struggling too. This is a bit more than I anticipated - the emergency move - no preparation in my house - the intensity of the girls neediness given the change and also the depth of the trauma that they have experienced.
I have to admit, I am feeling in over my head in a big way! One moment I am absolutely loving this and the next I am trying to figure out how soon it can end.
They are absolutely adorable girls and also sweet and helpful and they truly want to please - and don't get me wrong, I love reading to them, singing to them, going for a walk today, listening to them giggle, hugs, kisses, teaching them colors and animals - there really are a million good things! But, again to be brutally honest - there are moments throughout the day that I am very uncertain about this. I hope that is to be expected.
Anyone already down this path of taking in high risk siblings - I'd love to hear from you!
And I'd love to hear from you even if you haven't already, but are on the path :)
I'm needing some support and input! So comment away!


  1. Wow--I have no advice to offer but I am amazed at what you are doing and I know you will find your way through this--you have great love and great faith. I will pray for you and the girls--I hope you can feel the support.

  2. A comment that was emailed to me -
    I don't know anything about you other than what your blog said. I just wanted you to know I'm saying a prayer for you... and you asked for advice so not as someone who has been there but as a sister:
    I'm assuming from your profile you know what the Lord, through James, says about true religion :)
    And I'm also assuming you know what Philippians 4 says about anxiety! "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Finally brethren..." What are we to think on? Ask yourself what is true in this circumstance? What is Good, what is lovely?
    You have been led to this point for a reason. Family is difficult, it comes with pain and trials. Examine your heart and give your fear to the Lord. Ask him for wisdom and he will give it. Raising children is not supposed to be easy whether they are biologically yours or not. But with time you will understand them, they will understand you. Our Father has given you everything you need for life and godliness! Ask him if you are supposed to commit to these girls and if so, to remove all obstacles as you turn your fears over to him.
    My husband and I are seriously considering adoption, and in about a year when we have an adoption blog and children home (Lord willing) I'll expect you to come and write the same things to me! :P

  3. As I read your post and pray for you the radio begins with "you will be safe in his arms" Just remember that the girls wouldn't be with you if God didn't feel that you could handle it. When you feel questions arise, just hold onto the Lord. Also parenthood is messy. We all make mistakes and have bad days. You are just doing it in hyper drive format. You are o.k. You will be o.k. You are awesome and wonderful and beautiful and the girls are blessed to have you in their lives. I will continue to blanket you all in my prayers. Love and kisses Jenna