It's the season of Advent - waiting for the Messiah - who shows up as a baby, born to a virgin in one of the most unexpected places a stable. So why shouldn't I expect the unexpected?
My social worker called me Friday afternoon to ask if I would consider an emergency placement of sisters aged three and five years old, they need a foster-to-adopt placement before Christmas? Oh my goodness? I had just wrapped my brain around not hearing anything until at least January.
In an effort not to miss out on God's unexpected plans for my life, I said....ummmm....OK. So tomorrow I will be meeting with my social worker, the girls' social worker and guardian ad litem to discuss this opportunity and whether or not it is a good fit for all of us?
My sister told Syd on Friday night. On Saturday am when I came downstairs she wanted to talk to me. "Auntie, you won't have time for me anymore if you adopt these girls. And I don't know anything about being a big sister." As she told me these things she burst into tears. Heartbreaking. We talked about this for awhile and I reassured her that I will always make time for her.
I have spent the weekend flipping back and forth between sheer excitement to have two little girls to celebrate Christmas with and sheer terror at the same prospect - not at the being a mom part, but being ready in just a few short days! Ack!
I am a mess of conflicting emotions and thoughts. Praying continually, and trying to remain open to whatever God might have in mind.
When I got home this afternoon from lunch with a friend, hanging on my door were two of Syd's favorite dresses that don't fit her anymore, with a note pinned to them...."Auntie, do you think the five year old might like this dress?" signed Sydney. What a sweetie!
Just a few minutes ago Syd came into my room...."Auntie, I got over it." After she noticed my puzzled look she said, "I got over being scared that I don't know how to be a big sister."
Sigh.....God is at work. If you happen to think of me tomorrow at 11am please pray for wisdom, discernment and most importantly that God would make it clear!