Two Years Ago...

I am so very sad that I have let 3 months pass with no update....but I could not let today pass without stopping to say that two years ago today I boarded a plane bound for Moscow to bring home my precious daughter. Little did I know how my life would change for the better. I cannot imagine life without her now. I cannot even remember what it was like or what I did with all that free time! I only know that my life is infinitely sweeter...fuller....brighter...with her in it.
E. you are the most amazing person I know...you are full of life and light. You are strong and brave and resilient and I can't believe I get to be your mommy. I love watching your life unfold before my eyes. I love anticipating all that you will become. I don't want to miss out on a single second of your sweet life.
I love you....no matter what!

Moments Worth Remembering...

A couple of nights ago as I was laying beside E.,  who was trying to fall asleep, she reached over and put her hand on my face and said, "Mommy, I just love you so much..." Long pause and then, still with her hand on my face and tears in my eyes she said, "You make me soooo happy" I feel so lucky to be her mommy - this sweet little girl has willingly opened her heart to me....I feel so grateful. I was reminded of my first trip to Vladimir, my referral trip. At the end of our third visit together she touched my face in the same way. She had no English words at the time, but her eyes said it all. Here is where I posted about it.

Yesterday morning, on the way to Emily's house, E. asked me where she could see Jesus? Ummmm that's a pretty tough question to answer to a four year old - I would have no problem responding to an adult who asked that question, but how do I give an answer a four year could understand? So I said a quick prayer and then stammered and stuttered my way through an answer.
Me: "well, He is everywhere, but you can't really see Him with your eyes, you can feel Him in your heart"
E: "But I want to see Him, where is He?"
Me: "Well you can feel Him in your heart. Jesus can live in your heart and then you can feel Him. Do you want to ask Him to live in your heart?"
E: "Later, when I get bigger"
Me: "Well, did you know you don't have to wait until you get bigger. You can ask Him right now. Do you want to ask Jesus to live in your heart?"
E: "Yes"
Me: (in tears now) "You can just say Jesus, will you live in my heart"
E: "Jesus, will You live in my heart?"
Me: "Amen. Now He will always live in your heart and you will feel Him"
Now, I know this wasn't the most detailed theological discussion, but I truly believe something happened in my car that morning - life changing, powerful, the beginning of a lifelong relationship. I was humbled beyond belief, overwhelmed by His goodness and thrilled to have been there when it all started for E. I'm praying that the Lord would make Him self real to her all the days of her life. That she would know Jesus in a deeper way each day.
Today was also my dad's 72nd birthday. We had him over for taco dinner tonight - one of his favorites. It is such a delight to watch E. giggle and hug and snuggle with him. I feel so grateful that she gets to see him often.

More Fun...

Notice the matching converse :) Syd picked them out for both of them.

Ready to head out for some candy!

My little flower

 Halloween was a fun day.....Syd was on Fall break last week so she came over and spent the day with E. and I. It is so fun to watch those two play. Syd likes to dress E. up like her personal dolly. E. tolerates this....sometimes :) The weather was amazing. Often the weather is snowy on Halloween, but not this year it was close to balmy....over 50 degrees even after sunset. It was a busy trick or treat night....we had loads of fun gathering candy from the neighbors.

This past weekend E. and I were out on the deck and I happened to look up to see this beautiful creature in our Aspen tree.....it was amazing. I don't think I had ever seen an  owl this close up - outside of the zoo.

He was sitting there so peacefully.

I snapped pictures and he just sat there blinking and winking at us. E. was just as captivated as I was.

We have been going through lots of changes lately at our house. Changes that leave me stressed and sweet E. is feeling the effects of it. She is so clearly impacted by changes no matter how small. Even something as small as the end of daylight savings - driving home from Emiliy's tonight in the dark at 5pm was hard for her. She is - easily stressed - easily overwhelmed. Her little brain doesn't have ability to regulate quickly...it will come with time and more healing, but right now she is just a pile of tears often. It's exhausting, but I know she has been through far too much for a 4 1/2 year old and it will just take more and more love and prayers to overcome it. But overcome we will! With the Lord's help and healing.

Boo at the Zoo

What a lovely weekend. Yesterday we had an E. and mommy day - just hanging out at home...we tickled, played, we planned a grocery store trip and survived without any extra purchases...I always consider it a victory when I exit the store with nothing more than what I planned to buy :)
It was a very nice day. Last night I was thinking about what a great balance there was between interacting and playing and then doing our own thing....I got chores done she played happily by herself. I feel like that is something really new - it has taken a long time to develop. I feel so grateful...
E. is such an extrovert and days with just she and I are sometimes hard for her - she loves the interaction with people and of course with her friends. But I also see how too much stimulation sends her easily over the edge and she becomes a puddle of tears....enter Boo at the Zoo....too much fun....too much candy.....way too many people....too loud....all leads to a very long ride home with one whiny, tearful girl.
Glad we went also glad to leave :)
I only got a few pix, but they are cute - we went with our dear friends and E's BFF Jaedyn.

E. and J. talking with the UNC Mascot - she chatted with them and they loved it :)

Spontaneous...

Tonight, as we were getting ready for bed, E. told me "Mommy, I'm so happy this is my home."

Sweet....me too E. I'm so happy this is your home!

Fall Fun

It is so much fun to be celebrating a 2nd year of traditions...like pumpkin carving. This year we added our friends Kenzie and Maddie to the party. The girls had so much fun. Playing in the goo...marking out their pumpkin faces....it was such a glorious afternoon...gorgeous weather.

Pumpkin guts....ooey gooey fun!

I really don't even know what to say about the band-aids.... goofy!

Tons of fun was had by all :)

The View...

from my front door late this afternoon really took my breath away. 

The light through the tree...the blaze of Fall color. The sweetness of a little girl looking out...I feel so grateful. There is so much beauty to take in....when I slow to look for it.