First Day of Jr. Kindergarten

Where does the time go?

Moments Worth Remembering...

A couple of nights ago as I was laying beside E.,  who was trying to fall asleep, she reached over and put her hand on my face and said, "Mommy, I just love you so much..." Long pause and then, still with her hand on my face and tears in my eyes she said, "You make me soooo happy" I feel so lucky to be her mommy - this sweet little girl has willingly opened her heart to me....I feel so grateful. I was reminded of my first trip to Vladimir, my referral trip. At the end of our third visit together she touched my face in the same way. She had no English words at the time, but her eyes said it all. Here is where I posted about it.

Yesterday morning, on the way to Emily's house, E. asked me where she could see Jesus? Ummmm that's a pretty tough question to answer to a four year old - I would have no problem responding to an adult who asked that question, but how do I give an answer a four year could understand? So I said a quick prayer and then stammered and stuttered my way through an answer.
Me: "well, He is everywhere, but you can't really see Him with your eyes, you can feel Him in your heart"
E: "But I want to see Him, where is He?"
Me: "Well you can feel Him in your heart. Jesus can live in your heart and then you can feel Him. Do you want to ask Him to live in your heart?"
E: "Later, when I get bigger"
Me: "Well, did you know you don't have to wait until you get bigger. You can ask Him right now. Do you want to ask Jesus to live in your heart?"
E: "Yes"
Me: (in tears now) "You can just say Jesus, will you live in my heart"
E: "Jesus, will You live in my heart?"
Me: "Amen. Now He will always live in your heart and you will feel Him"
Now, I know this wasn't the most detailed theological discussion, but I truly believe something happened in my car that morning - life changing, powerful, the beginning of a lifelong relationship. I was humbled beyond belief, overwhelmed by His goodness and thrilled to have been there when it all started for E. I'm praying that the Lord would make Him self real to her all the days of her life. That she would know Jesus in a deeper way each day.
Today was also my dad's 72nd birthday. We had him over for taco dinner tonight - one of his favorites. It is such a delight to watch E. giggle and hug and snuggle with him. I feel so grateful that she gets to see him often.

Boo at the Zoo

What a lovely weekend. Yesterday we had an E. and mommy day - just hanging out at home...we tickled, played, we planned a grocery store trip and survived without any extra purchases...I always consider it a victory when I exit the store with nothing more than what I planned to buy :)
It was a very nice day. Last night I was thinking about what a great balance there was between interacting and playing and then doing our own thing....I got chores done she played happily by herself. I feel like that is something really new - it has taken a long time to develop. I feel so grateful...
E. is such an extrovert and days with just she and I are sometimes hard for her - she loves the interaction with people and of course with her friends. But I also see how too much stimulation sends her easily over the edge and she becomes a puddle of tears....enter Boo at the Zoo....too much fun....too much candy.....way too many people....too loud....all leads to a very long ride home with one whiny, tearful girl.
Glad we went also glad to leave :)
I only got a few pix, but they are cute - we went with our dear friends and E's BFF Jaedyn.

E. and J. talking with the UNC Mascot - she chatted with them and they loved it :)

18 Months

Family

E. and I have been together as a family for 18 months today. 18 months ago, we left the Vladimir Baby House together. I remember the day as if it were yesterday...we were both so scared, terrified really. She was leaving the only home, family, language, sounds, food, smells, sights she had ever known with a woman she barely knew. I was lunging head first into the world of motherhood....I had no idea if I could handle it.
Fast forward 18 months, and we are mommy and daughter...neither of us could imagine life without the other.
 Life is sweet...and I'm so grateful.

Eleven Months

When I started typing the title for this entry, blogger typed ahead for "eleven weeks". When E. first came home, last March, I was posting in weeks and keeping track of how many weeks we had been a family - I remember being so overwhelmed with joy and also exhaustion. So thrilled to be her mama and yet oh so overwhelmed as well. No one can really prepare you for how difficult it will be - for how inadequate you will feel - for how challenging and humbling it will be. The joyful part you can imagine....and it is that, but there is just so much that you just can't know until you know...you kmow? :)
But as the weeks roll into months it just gets better and better...I am still exhausted (will I ever not be? :), but not nearly so overwhelmed, and the joy....well it just keeps coming.
Happy 11 months E. love, Mama

I know this is an oldy - from our Christmas with Papa, but I love the look on her face. She was just so thrilled with this pink scooter from Papa!

100 Posts...9 Months and Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. What an amazing time we are having with family, here in California. I was really nervous to take E. on an airplane again...9 months ago our trip home was rough! But she is an amazing little traveler this time.
We have been enjoying the 70 degree weather...especially since we left 10 inches of snow on the ground on Thursday. We took a hike, walked on the Huntington Beach pier, met lots of cousins and Aunts and Uncles. E. is the belle of the ball here.
Loving all the presents and love.
It's hard to believe it's only and already been 9 months together.
Pictures soon...

Anticipation

Today marks eight months together. Tonight E. wanted to look at pictures from Russia. As we looked at our time together there, I was struck by how much she has grown and changed in these eight months. It's truly remarkable. Not just external changes, but internal ones too. On the outside she is 3 inches taller and has tons more hair, her skin looks healthier and she has a glow about her. But inside the changes seem more profound. She is settled, happy, peaceful and seemingly aware of those things. She smiles and laughs often - two things I rarely saw her do during my three "pre-gotcha" visit trips. She is a chatter box - often telling me "know what, Mama?" and then chattering away about something that sometimes I understand every word of and others I have no idea what she is talking about. E. loves her friends and they love her. Abby, who is two and the other little girl at day care, told her mom - "E. is my best friend". This past weekend we went to our first birthday party. E. was invited to her buddy Weston's fourth birthday. The morning of the party she told me she wanted to stay home - I'm guessing she was uncertain what to expect and that was a bit overwhelming to her - we went ahead to the party and she had a blast. It was so fun to watch her with her buddies. E. loves music and singing. She loves to pray - I don't know how much she understands, but she is clearly drawn to all things Spiritual and often asks to pray. She will bow her head and say "Dear Jesus" - precious girl. E. is a helper by nature. She will see something out of place and put it back, pick up trash, put things in the sink, wipe up a spill. E. is incredibly observant in so many ways. When we drive somewhere she will point out the direction we should go or say "church" as she is pointing in the direction of church. Most times she is right on.
As we enter into this holiday season I realized that I have spent the past 4 years dreading this season - another season waiting for a child. Perhaps that has become a bit of a habit and a bit unconscious. I have so much to be grateful for this year and I want to savor the anticipation of the season. I want to enjoy every moment of life with E. each and every day. I am praying that I can see the holidays through her eyes and with her joy. Tonight as we were driving home I was talking with her about Thanksgiving and what it means. I asked her what she was thankful for? "pizza and cheese" was her answer. This made me giggle. We talked some more - I told her I was so thankful I was able to adopt her and be her second Mama. Thank you Lord for the gift of E. Silly, joyful, kind-hearted, adventurous, sweet E.

Six Months

Amazing.....together six months. I truly never thought I'd get to write those words. I savor them now. Knowing that I am on the other side of the journey to adoption and living the journey of an adoptive family.
On Tuesday night at church we will baptize E. and Mike has asked me to share about what God has taught me on this journey. To prepare I've spent time going back through my blogs and my journal to remember all that God has done. It truly was an encouraging endeavor.
E. you have been prayed for since before you were born. God clearly intended for us to be a family and I feel so grateful.
Happy six months together! Whee! What an amazing ride!

Words That End in "A" and Other Such Silliness

Where does the time go? Tomorrow E. and I have been together 5 months! Crazy how the time flies.
She is learning so much - this morning while I was getting breakfast ready she started counting....she has not done this before at all...two, three, four, five....funny that she starts at two - I think that is her favorite number. She is always telling me "Look-a mama, two..." and she holds up two fingers and shows me two dogs, two balloons, two crackers, two whatever.
E. adds the letter "A" to many of the words she knows...she uses the short "a" sound. I want to remember this so I'm sharing it here. It's really very cute.
Look-a
Hot-a
Cold-a
There-a
Stop-a
Wait-a
It really is added to so many of her words...too cute.
We have also been on a progression from using the word "Da" (Russian for Yes) to "Yes" - just this weekend she started saying "Yes" very emphatically. She definitely was only using Da when she was first home, and then for quite awhile she was saying "Yah" for yes...natural progression. I have to admit it's kind of sad to say goodbye to "Da" in her vocabulary.
There are a couple of Russian words (or at least E's Russian) she still uses - "sheesa" for bath and "adoot-koo" for excuse me. It cracks me up when she tells Cleo or Lucy (my furry children) "adoot-koo Cleo" or "adoot-koo Lucy" when she wants them to get out of her way.
Here are a few pictures from a day at the children's museum with Emily.

So high!

My little flower...

Composing a master piece, of course :)

I Know

On Friday E. and I were in the car. I told her, in Russian, "I love you". She got this big grin on her face and she said, "I know!"
Warms my heart!
Yesterday, also in the car, she spontaneously told me, "Mama, I love you" in English. That's the first time she has said it first :)
Life is good!

Happy 14 weeks home....and 4th of July

Sigh...where does the time go? I can't believe Miss E has been home for 14 weeks - over three months.
Right now she is laying on her bed next to me fighting going to sleep...so she is making her mama a bit crazy! Oh those busy hands and toes - even when there is nothing in your bed but a pillow and some soft blankies you can find ways to entertain yourself with fingers and toes. Sweet girl - I know that is leftover from nights in the baby house, and partly it's just being three, so I try to stay patient and compassionate about it.
It is amazing how many new words she has and how strong she is getting - hanging from anything that will hold her weight (and some things that won't, ha!)jumping like crazy, riding her tricycle (I wish I could write out how she says this word it's really cute, but I'm not sure what letters to use.) When we went to Child Find (Colorado's early intervention program) back in late April, two of the skills they wanted her to work on were jumping and riding a tricycle - she has both of those down! Our dear friend, Kelly, fixed up her trike with pink streamers and a Princess water bottle holder - she is just tickled with the results.
E. enjoyed her first home-made vanilla ice cream yesterday along with some BBQ ribs - I think she is officially "American". We talked quite a bit about how it was America's birthday and we were celebrating. My sister is quite the "pyro" so we had a bit of our own fireworks extravaganza in the front yard - E. was pretty nervous about the loud sounds. But the firework in the shape of a chicken that blew a balloon out it's butt was a big hit - I don't know how to explain it better than that.
Swimming continues to be a favorite for the little Pixie - in fact tonight she was pretending that mama's bed and bedroom were the swimming pool and she was making all her best swimming motions including counting to jump off the side. Too cute.
Some of the latest photos...
"Really, Mom?"
Happiness is being outside, hanging around in your swimsuit.
Watching the sea lions at the zoo.
Cheese....she finally smiles both spontaneously and for photos!
On your mark, get set.....
Holding hands with friends....so sweet.
Jumping on the trampoline....with water! What more could a girl ask for?
Maybe a sprinkler, too? Emily, you rock!

Words, Words, Words

Before I forget them all I want to capture some of the words E. has learned and some of the "Russian" words she uses.
English words she says spontaneously and in the correct context
Doggie - with our dogs as well as calls out the word when she hears other dogs barking - she sometimes still says "babachka" which is the Russian word for a female dog.
"Tay" - she drops the "s" - I must say this often to the dogs because she is always telling them to stay and she puts her hand out to stop them too.
Birdie (she points to them on our walks)
Cold - she definitely lets me know when she is cold it's too cute really
Hot - she says this about food and the oven and the microwave both the ones inside the kitchen and in her kitchen outside on the deck. She also says this about the bath water - the girl likes lukewarm baths - yuck! But I bet she was used to cold ones so anything above cold feels hot to her! She also uses her own Russian word - "harachi".
Book - finally - she loves reading books - I've been waiting for this. I love reading books and she has not been even remotely interested until now.
Yogart - also known as yogurt to the rest of us. She does love yogurt.
Apple - she uses both the sign and the word for this. I've been teaching her some sign language too.
More - mostly comes out moy, moy - but she signs more when she says this so I know that's what she is trying to say.
All done - this gets used frequently :)
"Dink" - she doesn't quite get the dr in drink. She also says "peach" not sure if that's the Russian word for drink or not?
"Anana" - she drops the B - she also uses the sign for Banana :)
"peeping" - she drops the "SL" so it comes out peeping, but she definitely means sleeping
"Tash" - this is trash - and she loves to pick it up and throw it away for mama - you gotta love this - unless you're trying to get the girl to focus on something else :)
Sock - this is one of the first words she learned - she understood it right away - I would say "let's go get some socks" and she would run into her room to the sock drawer - I wish I could remember her Russian word for it - she doesn't say it any more :(
Shoes - another first word - and she had a Russian word too that I already can't remember - bummer.
Cereal - she asks for this every morning and knows the sign for it too.
Cookie - she learned the sign for this one from a kids DVD on signing we watched twice - she hadn't ever even eaten a cookie at the time - but of course it's one of the signs and words she remembers :)
Yucky - I love her facial expression when she says this one
And of course, the word every toddler knows - No! She still uses nyet sometimes and her version of this which is "nay", but she definitely knows the English counterpart as well :)

E's "Russian" Words
"Shee-sah" - her favorite - the bath - she also sometimes says "bap" which I think is her way of tryign to say bath.
"Bwa-na-na" - my interpretation of this word is "there it is!" or "I found it" she is always really excited and pointing at what she was looking for when she says this.
"Net-toe" - this is the opposite of Bwa-na-na - means I can't find it - it's not here
"A-ko-chee" - I'm pretty sure this one is swing - she waves her arms up and down like she's on the swing at the park when she says this one.
"Babachka" - doggie
"A-doot-koo" - pillow
"e-cok" or "a-cok" - both mean help me
"a-mom" - definitely means "I do it!" she is very emphatic about this one sometimes!
"a-cheena" - she still uses this one for car - she will repeat the word car when I say it, but she never spontaneously says car - always acheena
"Paka" - bye bye - she says bye bye much more often than paka now
"pick" - jump - she jumps when she says this - it's really cute and good since the Child Find folks say I need to work with her on jumping and increasing her stability when she does jump - just wish I could get the monkey to stop jumping on the bed :)
"nee-ko-chee" - I don't want that! Said with a bit of a yell and a whine! Whatever "that" happens to be - sometimes it is neekochee yogart or neekochee turkey or neekochee bedtime!

Four Weeks and an Update

I think awhile back I mentioned that time both "flies" and "crawls". I can't believe we've been together four weeks. One of my commitments to my little pixie was to keep her world super small during our first month together - to focus on our attachment. I remember asking my friend Lesa before I left on E's gotcha trip to keep me accountable to that commitment, because I knew it would be hard for me. I have many dear friends and I knew I would want them to meet her right away. And here we are, one month in! I am so very glad that I stuck with it and did keep things very small for her - I really feel like we are making strides in our mutual attachment to one another. Our biggest struggle is bedtime - I think it must have been a very scary time for her.

A couple of weeks ago my Auntie Jan (my mom's twin sister) and my cousin Karri came for a visit. It was so special to me. My mom passed away seven years ago - I miss her terribly. She would have just adored E. and I know she would have been here with me during these first few weeks. It meant the world to me that Jan and Karri would fly out to be with us so quickly - it felt a bit like having mom around.
We had a blast and my little pixie just loved them.
Auntie Jan taught E. how to walk on top of her feet - this produced squeals of delight.


Auntie Jan and Karri bought E. an "acheena" and Karri most graciously put it together - 37 steps! Good grief! Here's the success!

Pixie and Syd had a ball playing in the box the Cozy Coupe came in


Since E's birthday happened during the first month she was home I kept her "party" really small - Auntie (my sister) and Syd of course and then Papa (my dad) and Becky (who traveled to Russia with me on the "gotcha trip") and her husband Kelly. We had a great time and E. was so surprised by gifts, and cupcakes. She really didn't know what to think when we sang happy birthday to her - she got this really confused look on her face - it was too cute. Here are some pix - I realized I didn't get a picture of E. with Auntie (or Teetee as E. says) we need to fix that!
Pixie and Papa

Becky and Kelly (or Kewwwie as E. calls him) with E.

E.'s very first cupcake - yummy!