More Fun...

Notice the matching converse :) Syd picked them out for both of them.

Ready to head out for some candy!

My little flower

 Halloween was a fun day.....Syd was on Fall break last week so she came over and spent the day with E. and I. It is so fun to watch those two play. Syd likes to dress E. up like her personal dolly. E. tolerates this....sometimes :) The weather was amazing. Often the weather is snowy on Halloween, but not this year it was close to balmy....over 50 degrees even after sunset. It was a busy trick or treat night....we had loads of fun gathering candy from the neighbors.

This past weekend E. and I were out on the deck and I happened to look up to see this beautiful creature in our Aspen tree.....it was amazing. I don't think I had ever seen an  owl this close up - outside of the zoo.

He was sitting there so peacefully.

I snapped pictures and he just sat there blinking and winking at us. E. was just as captivated as I was.

We have been going through lots of changes lately at our house. Changes that leave me stressed and sweet E. is feeling the effects of it. She is so clearly impacted by changes no matter how small. Even something as small as the end of daylight savings - driving home from Emiliy's tonight in the dark at 5pm was hard for her. She is - easily stressed - easily overwhelmed. Her little brain doesn't have ability to regulate quickly...it will come with time and more healing, but right now she is just a pile of tears often. It's exhausting, but I know she has been through far too much for a 4 1/2 year old and it will just take more and more love and prayers to overcome it. But overcome we will! With the Lord's help and healing.

Boo at the Zoo

What a lovely weekend. Yesterday we had an E. and mommy day - just hanging out at home...we tickled, played, we planned a grocery store trip and survived without any extra purchases...I always consider it a victory when I exit the store with nothing more than what I planned to buy :)
It was a very nice day. Last night I was thinking about what a great balance there was between interacting and playing and then doing our own thing....I got chores done she played happily by herself. I feel like that is something really new - it has taken a long time to develop. I feel so grateful...
E. is such an extrovert and days with just she and I are sometimes hard for her - she loves the interaction with people and of course with her friends. But I also see how too much stimulation sends her easily over the edge and she becomes a puddle of tears....enter Boo at the Zoo....too much fun....too much candy.....way too many people....too loud....all leads to a very long ride home with one whiny, tearful girl.
Glad we went also glad to leave :)
I only got a few pix, but they are cute - we went with our dear friends and E's BFF Jaedyn.

E. and J. talking with the UNC Mascot - she chatted with them and they loved it :)

Getting to the Good Stuff

I don't know how else to say it, the first few months home were just plain hard! So much to learn about each other. So many new things to learn about being a mommy....about being a daughter...not that we don't both still have much to learn, but it really feels like we are getting to the good stuff!
I was laying next to E. this evening and I realized that I find myself laughing more, smiling more, relaxing more, just enjoying her company more.
I don't think I had fairy tale views of what being a family formed by adoption would be like, but I don't think I expected it to be so hard to fall in love. I thought it would just happen....quickly. I loved E. in a commitment sense from day one! The kind of love that says no matter what, I'm here. No matter what, I won't give up. No matter what, I'm in this forever. But the mushy part - the googly eyed love part - that has been slow to develop. I guess because, well - I don't really know why. But, in all honesty it has.
Well, I'm happy to say that it's here. I get all teary when she smiles at me...when she calls me mommy....when she squeezes my neck and hugs me as tight as she can....whenever she giggles....when she asks me to "kickle me"(aka tickle me)....what a sweet life. I am so grateful I didn't miss out on this!