Better than Expected

The end of last week turned out on a much higher note! On Thursday I hurried around re-doing the failed notary's paperwork. I also spoke with my homestudy agency and they will have all of my documents and homestudy ready for me to pick up on Monday rather than their first guess of next Friday! Woo hoo! I am so grateful! On Friday I made the trek downtown to the SOS office to turn on all 14 of those re-notarized documents and this time, success! They were all accepted and I will be able to pick them up on Monday, Apostilled and ready to be sent on to my adoption agency. In fact, I believe I will be ready to send my entire "mini-dossier" (ha! I really think that is an oxymoron!) plus a few other documents I have been able to collect for my full dossier on to my agency on Wednesday! WOW! That is exciting.
Once they have reviewed the documents they will be scanned and sent to Russia via email and hand carried by another gracious adopting family to Russia and into the coordinator's hands. Let the waiting begin (again!). I will await an official referral and an invitation to travel for a visit trip.

Dossier Prep X Cajillion

Have been working feverishly on my dossier prep. Oh so frustrating! I think my window of stress tolerance is very small these days!
Yesterday I had a few hours in the morning to work on some forms. I went to have my passport copied. Then I ran over to the bank to have a bunch of things notarized. I hate that part, because I'm just not a details person so I have to go in and give all these directions and sometimes the notary will really listen and sometimes we end up having to make more copies and start over because the notary uses black ink and not blue, or they don't put my full name on the document argghhhhh!! This signing session went pretty smoothly (the notary actually listened to what I needed and seemed to care!) and I still had enough time to get downtown to the SOS office (for those outside the world of International adoptions - SOS = Secretary of State) to have the documents apostilled - so I was feeling pretty good!
I made the drive in good time with no traffic it only took 35 minutes - I found parking with minimal hassle - still feeling really good! Made my way up to the SOS office and found the right desk for the apostilles and......that's where the good feelings stop! The clerk took my documents and typed the notary's name in her computer - she made a face - and not a happy one - it was a scrunched up face that looked none too pleased. She told me she was going to get a second opinion because she is really picky, but the signature on my documents for the notary does not match the signature they have on file for her. Seriously???? Minutes later she comes back to say nope, they won't apostille any of these documents because the signatures don't match - in fact, not even close. I stumbled out of there barely making it to the elevator before the tears start. Poor guy riding in the elevator with me had to listen to me sniffle - he was clearly wishing he'd have caught the next one!
Sigh....I realize this seems trivial....but it's just all so tiring and I've been at it for three years! I know it will all be worth it one day, but right now it just pisses me off!!!
I started over today - haven't made it back downtown - but I will!

Happy Birthday, Lucy

When you've been waiting to adopt a child of your own for over three years, you develop a certain longing for things to celebrate!

So, I am celebrating my furry child, Lucy's eleventh birthday!

Happy Birthday sweet Lucy Dog!

Officially....

pursuing an adoption from Russia. I am knee deep in dossier paperwork! UGH!!! I am praying that the third time is the charm.

Starting Over

Well, it's official, my journey to adopt Hannah has come to an end. I am filled with tremendous relief for my sweet girl that she is no longer waiting, and tremendous sadness that I won't get to be her mama.

This adoption journey is quite the roller coaster - and the sad part is that my story really isn't all that unique! Many families have a failed adoption(s), many wait three years or more to adopt, many try multiple countries or avenues to grow their family through adoption. This realization leaves me feeling both melancholy and hope! There is some relief in knowing I am not alone, I am not unique - maybe that way I don't have to see this as a door slammed in my face!

And so, a bit weary, a bit devastated, and yes, a bit hopeful too....I start over. Praying for guidance, discernment about where the path leads next.

I am not giving up....my dream to be a mom lives on!

On Hold

I wish I had some fabulous news to share, but at this time I am pretty much on hold with the domestic adoption. I have prayerfully come to the conclusion that I need to wait and see what happens with Hannah before I move forward on this second front. It's a tough choice because we could easily be another year away from bringing her home, but it's the right one.

A Visit

The girls' transition to their new family went very well. I think it was easier for the girls than it was for me. They were mostly just excited and happy about going to their new family. We said goodbye and I let them know that I would see them on Sunday. I left tearfully - they were engrossed in play with their new siblings. I will get to visit tomorrow.
I have to say that I have continued peace about my decision, but a sense of uncertainty about what's next? Sigh.....waiting again.