Officially....

pursuing an adoption from Russia. I am knee deep in dossier paperwork! UGH!!! I am praying that the third time is the charm.

Starting Over

Well, it's official, my journey to adopt Hannah has come to an end. I am filled with tremendous relief for my sweet girl that she is no longer waiting, and tremendous sadness that I won't get to be her mama.

This adoption journey is quite the roller coaster - and the sad part is that my story really isn't all that unique! Many families have a failed adoption(s), many wait three years or more to adopt, many try multiple countries or avenues to grow their family through adoption. This realization leaves me feeling both melancholy and hope! There is some relief in knowing I am not alone, I am not unique - maybe that way I don't have to see this as a door slammed in my face!

And so, a bit weary, a bit devastated, and yes, a bit hopeful too....I start over. Praying for guidance, discernment about where the path leads next.

I am not giving up....my dream to be a mom lives on!

On Hold

I wish I had some fabulous news to share, but at this time I am pretty much on hold with the domestic adoption. I have prayerfully come to the conclusion that I need to wait and see what happens with Hannah before I move forward on this second front. It's a tough choice because we could easily be another year away from bringing her home, but it's the right one.

A Visit

The girls' transition to their new family went very well. I think it was easier for the girls than it was for me. They were mostly just excited and happy about going to their new family. We said goodbye and I let them know that I would see them on Sunday. I left tearfully - they were engrossed in play with their new siblings. I will get to visit tomorrow.
I have to say that I have continued peace about my decision, but a sense of uncertainty about what's next? Sigh.....waiting again.

One More Sleep

When we were leaving F. and H.'s new family yesterday, their new daddy told them they would have 2 more sleeps before they would come back to stay with them. Tonight as she is falling asleep F. told me "only one more sleep!" It warms my heart to know that she is feeling so positive about going to live with her new family.

I cannot believe they will be leaving tomorrow. I have such a peace about it, but I am aslo so sad to say goodbye. I will miss them both. I am so grateful I will get to see them again soon.

This has been such a powerful experience for me - I don't even know how to put it in words.

Vocabulary Lesson

It has been so much fun trying to figure out some of F. and H.'s vocabulary...I thought I'd share a lesson....

yayas = boo boos
boo boo = poop
koko(s) = monster(s)
moco = snot / boogers (sorry!)
mote = remote as in remote control
baloo = blue = the color you guess if you have no idea what color something actually is
cared = scared
pilled = spilled

Answered Prayer

God is so good! The couple I asked for prayer about in the last post would like F. and H. to come live with them and be a part of their family! I am so grateful and excited. We met just mom and dad at McDonalds today and then this evening, Mom and Dad and their four kiddos came over for dinner with us! Tomorrow F., H. and I are off for a visit at their house in the afternoon.

Why in the world do I doubt You, Lord? You always provide! I get all worked up about the short amount of time and the "insurmountable" task of finding the girls the perfect home! But You had this in mind from the beginning! My part in their journey was to keep them from being split into two homes and to give them lots of love in their first weeks away from their grandma, until the W. family could be prepared to welcome the girls into their home and family.

Please be praying for the girls hearts (and Kristi's, Syd's and mine too) as they make this move - it's not going to be easy to say goodbye!