One Year Ago Today....the judge said "Da"!

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. The most striking thing to me about that, over two hour, experience was just how much peace I felt. I remember thinking as the judge was questioning me, "you think you are in control of this decision, but you absolutely are not" I had no idea how it would turn out that day, but I knew without a doubt that whatever the judge's answer, da or nyet, he was merely delivering to me the Lord's answer. And so, I was completely at peace.
Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic to hear him say "Da". It really was the most wonderful one syllable word to hear and I was so very thrilled.
Looking back, one year later, I have no doubt that the long journey to you, my sweet E., with all it's twists and turns, was orchestrated by the One who knit you together in your mother's womb.
Happy Adoption Day, sweet girl! I'm so grateful the judge said "da".

10 Months

My top ten favorite things about E....in honor of our ten months together :)
1. Her giggle....nothing delights my heart more than hearing that delightful little giggle...especially when it turns into an all out squeal.
2. The way she anticipates the last page of books. In one of our favorites, "Perfect Piggies" by Boynton (gotta love her!), the last page of the book ends with the piggies going wee, wee, wee, all the way home - which of course, I must act out with all kinds of high pitched "wee's" and tons of tickles. E. loves this and anticipates it from page one....she starts giggling about how I will tickle her at the end on every page we read - the build up is as much fun as the finale :)
3. She is a little negotiator and most....ok well maybe not most, but many times it is a complete crack up....sometimes I just need her to put on her pj's :) "right back, mama" she'll tell me when she is off to do something and doesn't want me to come with her.
4. Her hugs and kisses...
5. Her "I love you, mamas!"
6. Her love for all things outside...even if it's 20 degrees outside she is determined to play outside. She will play on the trampoline until her fingers are little icicles and still refuse to come inside.
7. The way she sings Jesus Loves Me... I have got to get a video of it.
8. The way she loves her friends. And she has many of them. When we got to church the other day she bumped into a friend, Weston, that she hadn't seen in awhile - she squealed with delight (and so did he) and they gave each other a huge hug. I just love the way she is surrounded with love.
9. Her prayers at dinnertime...it's really hard to re-create in text...it's clear she speaks from her heart.
10. Her determination...she rarely gives up, though she will ask for help. This will serve her well throughout life.

Happy New Year

Here are some pictures of our Christmas fun...

This is my bed, Jakey!
She spent a lot of time in Jake's bed. It was the perfect size.
Christmas Eve, the night before the present extravaganza! She must have opened 30 gifts that day. Auntie Jan may have had a little too much fun shopping :)
Christmas morning - let the fun begin.
Playing hide and seek with Sydney. E needed a little help with the no peeking rule :)
Auntie Jan's bed is a really fun place to hide. Oh so many pillows.
Another favorite spot - watching Uncle Denny's train.
Who needs new toys?
Lucy and Cleo never let me do this :)
Jake and E. - BFF's

100 Posts...9 Months and Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. What an amazing time we are having with family, here in California. I was really nervous to take E. on an airplane again...9 months ago our trip home was rough! But she is an amazing little traveler this time.
We have been enjoying the 70 degree weather...especially since we left 10 inches of snow on the ground on Thursday. We took a hike, walked on the Huntington Beach pier, met lots of cousins and Aunts and Uncles. E. is the belle of the ball here.
Loving all the presents and love.
It's hard to believe it's only and already been 9 months together.
Pictures soon...

One Year Ago Today....

...I woke up in a Moscow airport aerotel.
...I anxiously waited in the lobby for my driver.
...Dimitri met me in the lobby and helped me into his black Ford Expedition -it was very comfy. I was so surprised since my agency told me to expect small cars and long drives.
...I took lots of deep breaths as we drove away from Moscow - telling myself that surely this was the right car to be in. Dimitri spoke very little English and I was very surprised that my coordinator Tania was not with him. They hadn't told me that she would not be with me on the drive from Moscow. Dimitri must have sensed I was anxious because he shuffled some papers and handed me one that said my agency's name and my last name on it. Whew! I wasn't being whisked away to somewhere scary :)
...I sent instant messages via Yahoo with my dear friend Ann in Pennsylvania. It was so comforting to be able to chat with her on that 4 hour car ride to Vladimir. What a truly small world we lived in.
...I watched the countryside through the window - it was frigid that day about 4 degrees Fahrenheit. When the sun finally came up around 10:30am the sky was cloudy and the ground was covered in snow.
...I experienced the peace that only Jesus can bring. Knowing that I was in Vladimir at His direction...under His protection....to meet the child He intended for me.
...I drove into Vladimir City for the very first time. What a beautiful place. The city you lived in for the first three years of your life. The city I can't wait to return to someday with you.
...I met the doctors and caregivers who loved and provided for you for those first years. Such sweet women...I have no doubt they cared deeply for you and gave you the best life they could...you needed a family though.
...you toddled into the music room, holding Lydia's hand...looking down...close to tears...shy...sweet...precious.
...I will never forget that moment. We were both nervous and uncertain. Meeting for the very first time...and yet I knew...you were my daughter!
...I wrote in my journal that my heart was full.
...I thanked the Lord for giving me the strength and courage not to give up - four years of waiting to meet you...it was a long journey and I'm so grateful I didn't miss it!

Happy Thanksgiving

So much to be grateful for...sweet E. home forever is number one on the list. Add to that a personal relationship with Jesus, loving friends and family, a warm house, a job, yummy dinner, my furry kids - Lucy and Cleo. What more could one girl ask for?
I just booked tickets for Christmas in California - going to visit family and friends. The anticipation continues!

Anticipation

Today marks eight months together. Tonight E. wanted to look at pictures from Russia. As we looked at our time together there, I was struck by how much she has grown and changed in these eight months. It's truly remarkable. Not just external changes, but internal ones too. On the outside she is 3 inches taller and has tons more hair, her skin looks healthier and she has a glow about her. But inside the changes seem more profound. She is settled, happy, peaceful and seemingly aware of those things. She smiles and laughs often - two things I rarely saw her do during my three "pre-gotcha" visit trips. She is a chatter box - often telling me "know what, Mama?" and then chattering away about something that sometimes I understand every word of and others I have no idea what she is talking about. E. loves her friends and they love her. Abby, who is two and the other little girl at day care, told her mom - "E. is my best friend". This past weekend we went to our first birthday party. E. was invited to her buddy Weston's fourth birthday. The morning of the party she told me she wanted to stay home - I'm guessing she was uncertain what to expect and that was a bit overwhelming to her - we went ahead to the party and she had a blast. It was so fun to watch her with her buddies. E. loves music and singing. She loves to pray - I don't know how much she understands, but she is clearly drawn to all things Spiritual and often asks to pray. She will bow her head and say "Dear Jesus" - precious girl. E. is a helper by nature. She will see something out of place and put it back, pick up trash, put things in the sink, wipe up a spill. E. is incredibly observant in so many ways. When we drive somewhere she will point out the direction we should go or say "church" as she is pointing in the direction of church. Most times she is right on.
As we enter into this holiday season I realized that I have spent the past 4 years dreading this season - another season waiting for a child. Perhaps that has become a bit of a habit and a bit unconscious. I have so much to be grateful for this year and I want to savor the anticipation of the season. I want to enjoy every moment of life with E. each and every day. I am praying that I can see the holidays through her eyes and with her joy. Tonight as we were driving home I was talking with her about Thanksgiving and what it means. I asked her what she was thankful for? "pizza and cheese" was her answer. This made me giggle. We talked some more - I told her I was so thankful I was able to adopt her and be her second Mama. Thank you Lord for the gift of E. Silly, joyful, kind-hearted, adventurous, sweet E.